Ok. I realize that it has been quite some time since I've worked on this. Why is it that I can never follow through with anything? It really is the story of my life. I have all of these great plans, these great ideas, but no follow-through. It's a frustrating character flaw that I have no idea how to remedy. But, perhaps that is a topic for another day.
Back on the horse.
I figured that the best way to tackle this somewhat extensive list is probably to first purge through those things on the list that I have already done.
Let the purging, begin. Metaphorically speaking.
# 4: dump toxic friends
This is one I feel that I have already accomplished. Well, as much as anyone can permanently accomplish this kind of task. To start with, how does one define a "toxic friend". Colleen Rush (the author of the book I'm working from) puts it very well when she says "toxic people are like those mysterious containers of leftovers in your refrigerator--you avoid tossing them because they might still be good, but they only get more pungent and dangerous with time". Needless to say, I've had more than a few of these in my life. The high school ones were fairly easy to move on from with the aid of physical distance and new opportunities with the advent of college. I did have ones, however, who were friends since high school but not friends from school. Those were harder to part with. I am, in no way, speaking of all of the friends that I had in my high school and post high school years that I no longer keep in good contact with. Some of them were wonderful people and wonderful friends who time and space won out over. But there definitely were the others. I feel like my life has been riddled with "toxic friends", as if something inside of me has some sort of magnetic draw to them. I think it comes down to the fact that, and I say this with all of the humility in the world, I am a good person. People tend to take advantage of that. It is seen as weakness to be kind and non confrontational, and there are those out there who prey on people like me. I've had those friends in my life, who have treated me as if I held no real value other than to do things for them. Don't get me wrong, I genuinely enjoy doing things for people. I am the first person to bake someone a cake for their birthday, or make them a sentimental gift for no reason other than that it brings me deep spiritual joy to do so. But, when it becomes expected rather than appreciated, a person is left feeling like they have been taken advantage of. It also does nothing to enrich that person's life on a deeper, more meaningful level. My current friends, for all their flaws, are in my life because they add something to my life. Their involvement in my life is rewarding to my soul in a way that I cannot necessarily verbalize. But, when your company is desired so that someone can cook for you, or go out and get you something, or just keep you from being bored, without the other person living up to the emotional responsibility of being a "friend", well then that person really is not a friend all. It took me a while to come to terms with that realization. I still don't know that I fully have. Although I have learned to avoid those people and fill my time and life with people who stimulate my soul, it is still a difficult thing to recognize that you have been used, regardless of whether or not the people doing the using were ever fully aware that they did so. It's all part of growing up, I suppose.
